My early experience with meditation
okay, i have been on spiritual path for a while and some what established into mind that meditation is the way to reach the height of stability which does not fall back into valley. Though i had been reading different thinkers from osho, u g krishnamurthy etc they seems to contradict each other some completely denies the essence of Mediation and others have concluded it is the only way to Nirvana. Anyways when i slowly started realizing the futility of thinking and logic based approach of reaching mind’s tranquility I was more confirmed that meditation would have something to do with controlling the mind beast.
I have been in an impression that simply sitting on Buddha posture could bring what? I need to think over the problems relentlessly and someday i would reach what is called ultimately truth, but that approach failed me. So ?i decided to give another try to meditation. I have been doing it occasionally and found some glimpse of mind falling into unconscious state but that will be of very short span of time like a second or less. Immediately experiencing it will disappear it. It was like sensing all body movement so even a smallest movement on spinal will trigger a singal into my mind and i could hear my heart beats which in normal state is impossible to detect.
It was not before yesterday when i realized that sitting in Buddha posture has some real significance there was one or two similar occurrence i but had this is after what i decided to pen down here. i have been trying different tactics to bring down mind they were like staring at small point on the wall, close the eyes and try to wipe out all images from the screen and lastly it was what Buddha said to have been doing “Vipassana” here i was concentrating on my inhale and exhale breathing. That seems to be a good method but i struggled to keep breathing normal and there it fails you have to observe without interfering normal breathing.
Gazing at point seems to work better for me when i was experiencing kind of unconsciousness that restricted my view fields and i was not able to see anything more than that point, but here success stops, even after several attempts i was not able to go beyond that point.
Now yesterday something different happened but i could not repeat it again, hopefully it would happen again. That was when i was struggling to keep my spinal straight without any movements A shudder took my head in a unknown situation, i was feeling that i am moving towards my head, what I am and what was moving i don’t know and neither can explain but i felt like I am and what is spread all over my body is moving towards head it was going up and up and i stopped feeling the gravity of ups and down. I could not tell that I am up or down head.
Then suddenly my cell phone rang and it was over…!